Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Mets' Season in Haiku

by Alan Eliot

oh am I addicted to
the orange and blue

and then 1986
years that bring me joy

Many years later
annual disappointment
brings pessimism

Mo Vaughn, Bonilla
Scott Kazmir for Zambrano
how much can I take?

But a new GM
comes to town and promises
a winning franchise

In 2005
non-Pedro acquisitions
are all total busts

Beltran, Mientkiewicz
Cairo or Kaz Matsui;
holes in the lineup

In the off-season
Omar Minaya builds for
strong 2006

Hoping that this year
we take the division from
the Atlanta Braves

And lo and behold!
we are 21-9
confidence is high

However, fans note
that in spite of our record
we are in trouble

starting pitching depletion
starts to really hurt

Jae Seo and Benson?
you've got to be kidding me
Omar is on crack

Need to start some scrubs.
Uh-oh, Bannister is hurt
Maine lasted one game

Victor Zambrano
can't fix him in 10 minutes
out for the season

Trachsel, in spite of
clean bill of health and new back
pitches like grandma

Oh god! Fill the hole!
He couldn't make the roster
but now- Lima time!

In spite of hot wife
More than one earned-run per inning
what about Heilman?

Aaron Heilman is
not a lights-out reliever.
Mets pretend he is

"Vital" for bullpen-
considering AA
prospects over him

Bullpen is solid
but Wagner quite hittable
with his three blown saves

now 23-14
only one game up

It's a long season
of course I understand this
but it's hard to win

When 2 of 5 games
you almost plan for a loss
hope for the big bats!

And sure, Delgado
is ripping apart the league
David Wright is god

Xavier Nady
with .538 slugging
is a nice surprise

Beltran producing
1 HR per 10 AB
sky-high OPS

Reyes- 15 walks!
LoDuca with 3 HR
had 6 all last year

Must stay positive...
Floyd under Mendoza line...
but swings the bat well!


Phillies are gaining on us
13 of 14

One thing that I've learned-
never rule out Atlanta,
this year no different

With all the chaos
now afflicting the pitching,
I sincerely hope

They won't trade Milledge
for one-year Rent-a-Zito
or even Willis

That's just what we need
deplete the farm even more
Florida loves us

Pelfrey's stuff is sick
keep Billy Beane away or
he'll be wearing green

Mets will now scramble.
What to say? Hope for the best
gotta "deal with it"

As a lifelong fan
this is the way it will be
will stick by my team

Ya gotta believe
ya gotta believe, I say
ya gotta believe

Alan Eliot's column, "The Stories We Tell", appears alternate Tuesdays


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"I've had a pretty good success facing Stan (Musial) by throwing him my best pitch and backing up third base."
- Carl Erskine