Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Spaghetti Arms

by Sarah (The Fanatic's Wife)

This week on Wild Card Wednesdays, we explore the true price pitchers pay for zipping a ball 60 feet, 6 inches for years on end: horribly contorted arms!



Pedro will make $10,875,000 this season. I say, pay the man! Look at the sacrifice he makes for his sport: his arm is just about to fly out of its socket. Anyone willing to give up a limb for their job deserves the big bucks.







Ugh! Who is this guy? I don’t even know. Whoever he is, however much he gets paid, pay him more. His arm is on backwards...in fact, it looks like his head may be on backwards and everything else is the right way. Either way, it’s unnatural.





Here's some poor young soul playing for Doug's favorite Moneyballers, The A's:


We all know that this guy isn't making jack. He definitely tore some ligaments throwing this one. If I were his agent, I would demand a raise. One that's worth a human arm.






What are they doing to their players in Oakland? Arms are not supposed to bend back like that. It looks like his arm is sprouting out from his spine. Yuck.










It’s bad enough that this is happening in America…don’t let it go global! For the love of everything holy...we must contain this!





I doubt that when little boys try out for little league that their dream in life is to make it to the majors only to wind up crippled, one-armed, has-beens. Never let any child see these pictures. Seriously, they are gross. Maybe it’s the maternal instinct in me, but I hurt when I see these freeze frames of twisted, mangled, Gumby limbs. Thankfully, you cannot see this stuff at regular speed. So, in conclusion, unnaturally deformed limbs=$$. It’s as simple as that!

Look for my next column which will discuss the surreal event that is "Fantasy Draft Weekend." Until then, this is Sarah, the fanatic’s wife, being ignored by her husband because of this site since 2006.

Wild Card Wednesdays appear every Wednesday

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"I've had a pretty good success facing Stan (Musial) by throwing him my best pitch and backing up third base."
- Carl Erskine